Volunteers

Listening to: M.I.A. - Galang

Next week, I go with my mother to Chattanooga, to visit with members of her family. I haven't been in Chattanooga in about 5 years, and I'm not exactly jumping for joy with the prospects of this trip.

I love my grandmother. Absolutely. But she's off the deep-end, and has mostly herself to blame. She suffers from depression, among a variety of maladies, mostly physical, and does nothing to help herself; she is a recluse, who never leaves her apartment in her assisted living complex, and refuses to see a psychiatrist - she is absolutely convinced that nothing will ever work, and she seems to almost enjoy wallowing in her misery.

I honestly do connect my own mental issues with hers, but we've taken two completely different approaches to dealing with our problems. I confronted mine head-on, and have been in therapy for 8 years, and on medication for 5. She stays at home, watching Animal Planet and televangelists (A number of years ago, mom caught her sending a large quantity of money to Jerry Fallwell. We are a family of mostly secular Jews with moderate leanings. Mom was not happy, to say the least). She has some very nasty views about homosexuals, Muslims, and anyone who isn't okayed by the evangelist nation. It is hard to talk to her sometimes, so I usually just talk to her about cats and my writing; she used to be a very creative and artistic person, so she seems genuinely curious about my craft. At least she has a nice kitty to talk to. ::sigh::

And to top it off, I am going to visit my Uncle Lewis. Which would be great, except that he's been in a coma for over two years. Needless to say, I am very depressed at the prospect.

He and my mother were never particularly close - their lifestyles were complete opposites. Mom went to college and business school and ended up being a very successful banker up north. Lewis also made it to college, but got married at 19 when his (eventually revealed to be insane) girlfriend got pregnant. Lewis was/is a man who lived how he liked, never working too hard, making enough to be content with his life. He didn't save up much money, and spent a lot of time on motorcycles, which is unfortunately what put him in a coma.

The most tragic part of his accident is that he was 3 days away from marrying his third wife, an amazing and wonderful woman who we were all very happy he was marrying. She has been by his side since the accident, although she and my mother (and oddly enough, my grandmother) have had disagreements about Lewis' situation, regarding pulling the plug. Most of this has come from Lewis' financial situation, which my mother is now managing.

I want to say I'll be okay when I see him. My best friend was in a coma for quite some time when she was hit by a car, and it was heart-wrenching to visit her - it took a huge toll on me mentally and academically. I hope I can make it.